more thoughts.

I'm 15. I can't change that except the same way everyone else does, that is, one day at a time.

I'm sheltered. I'm immature. I've never had to want for anything important, really. I've always been interested in 'fun'. Jump roping, dance, making clothing, fencing, hello kitty, etc

Since coming here I've had to re-evaluate EVERYTHING. How I feel about being a mutant, how I feel about my life, my family, my lack of goals. I've been scared shitless and happier than I've been in a long time. I've also been in some hellacious fights with people.

I did a lot of thinking in the car to and from Boston. More than just about Friday, about so many things. I've made some decisions and maybe I'll change my mind, but ... I want to keep fencing, it is a sport. I like it. I'd like to compete against other schools like I used too also.

I don't want to be a victim. I think I've said this before, but it's more true now than ever. I'm still scared sometimes. Scared of going off campus without an image inducer, scared of being hated. But that doesn't mean my fear has to rule my life. Bad things DO happen. Like the bombing in Washington. I can't ignore that or pretend it's somewhere far away. It's not, but I'm not going to change my life because of it. There are GOOD places too, like Brighton, and there are places like the school. There is good and bad in the world.

I want to help people. Red X has been the best thing here. I love it. I want to take the field medicine class next semester. I don't know if I want to be a doctor, but I do want to continue this. Bombings or not.

I feel really good about things right now. For the first time in a long time, I have a real goal. So yeah. Can I help out in the medlabs?