xp_blink: (look like an angel)
I've been doing a lot of thinking recently. It's not something I like to do too often and I'm blaming Jono for this round of thinking.

1). I don't want to be scared. I don't want to run scared for my entire life. That's not a life, that's an existance.

2). I don't want to be like Sarah either. She's cool, she's nice, but she's hard. And not in a boney way either. I don't know how to not to be like her though if I take a stand.

3). how can we supposedly be working for peaceful co-existance when we hide in the school? I don't want to hide, it won't help anything and I'm sure it will hurt being purple in public (PIP ;) but I don't want to spend the rest of my life like a hermit.

I don't have answers, I just know that I can't live like this. I want to have a life, I want to be NORMAL. and that will never happen.

if I can't be normal in the non-mutant sense, then I think I should stop hiding.

...

Date: 2004-02-03 03:11 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] x-tarot.livejournal.com
We hide?

I know that those apperance changing devices are available for you to use, but other than that, I don't know that hiding is something any of us do.

Maybe it is different because I don't have a physical change, but we have _never_ been cloistered here, or told to not 'be' mutants outside the school, just not to start trouble.

Date: 2004-02-03 03:17 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] x-crowdofone.livejournal.com
Aha! Uncle Jamie Wants You for . . . uh . . . the thing I'm doing where I should probably think of a name for the group, where we're going to be junior mutant activists at people as soon as Kitty ropes me a couple of her ballet people so it's not just us. We're going to be not-hiding, and not-beating-people-up, and there'll be free food. :)

Hate to break it to you..

Date: 2004-02-03 03:35 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] x-empath.livejournal.com
~translated from the Castillian~

But until they perfect the full-body dyejob, you'll never be normal. You don't want to hide anymore? That's fine, but there's some folks around who can describe in painful levels of detail what happens when you decide to stop hiding.

If you really want to face the fear, to conquer it, then come and see me sometime. We'll talk about it.

~translated from the Castillian~

MdlR


Date: 2004-02-03 04:29 pm (UTC)From: [personal profile] xp_daytripper
xp_daytripper: (Default)
Heh. Move too Brighton, Glitter-Girl - they'd love yer colour there.

Date: 2004-02-03 06:38 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] x-marrow.livejournal.com
The way I am has kept me alive since I was 9. It may not be for everybody, but it _works_.

Re:

Date: 2004-02-03 07:42 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] x-blink.livejournal.com
*nods* I wasn't trying to be mean, obviously your methods work. I just don't think they are for me...but I can't see a middle ground. do you?

Re: Hate to break it to you..

Date: 2004-02-03 07:44 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] x-blink.livejournal.com
I know. and I don't want to get beat up or worse.

I was lucky. I know that now. but that doesn't mean my luck will hold. and it doesn't mean I have to rely on it forever.

Maybe I'll stop by soon.

Re: ...

Date: 2004-02-03 07:48 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] x-blink.livejournal.com

I was expelled from school for being a mutant. I was locked in my house for nearly 3 months before I came to Xaviers. Hell, I was expecting everyone to hate me here. You didn't.

Even before I was expelled or locked away, I was changing colors and had to be careful. I could claim my hair was a dyed, I could wear makeup and longsleeves and try to pass. And sometimes I didn't.

I have to get permission to use an image inducer any time I want to go out. While that means I get to use one, it also means if I can't get one when I need it, I can't go, and that's not right.

Re:

Date: 2004-02-03 07:49 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] x-marrow.livejournal.com
You're asking me? No. But then again, I'm not in the habit of looking for the middle ground.

Re:

Date: 2004-02-03 08:00 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] x-blink.livejournal.com
want some glitter? you can scare Jono ;)

Re:

Date: 2004-02-03 08:03 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] x-marrow.livejournal.com
No. I can scare Jono perfectly well without glitter, thanks.

Re: ...

Date: 2004-02-03 08:05 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] x-tarot.livejournal.com
You have to get permission?

That is odd. Maybe they're just worried because its expensive?

I am sure that other people have personal ones.

Date: 2004-02-03 09:07 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] x-angel.livejournal.com
Yeah, thinking sucks. Does this mean you're going to get rid of your image inducer?

Re:

Date: 2004-02-03 09:45 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] x-kitten.livejournal.com
Oh, blast, forgot to tell you... well, you were being awfully distracting. Stevie emailed me a couple of addresses of girls she thinks aren't going to freak at us, or something. Come find me and we can set something up.

Clarice, I'm definitely with Jamie on this one. Join thoes of us working so none of us has to hide.

Re:

Date: 2004-02-03 09:55 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] x-blink.livejournal.com
not for the moment. like I said earlier, I don't want to be a victim yet and I can't defend myself.

I do scared pretty well. I wonder if I can do 'tough' with enough practice?

Re:

Date: 2004-02-03 10:57 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] x-rogue.livejournal.com
You can do both at once. Some of us do it all the time.

If you want to defend yourself, there's lots of people to teach you that - verbal, physical, emotional, mental, you name it. We got your defense around here somewhere.

Re:

Date: 2004-02-03 11:00 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] x-blink.livejournal.com
well, I'm in beginner's self defense and I spar with Shiro several times a week.

I think I'm going to see about switching to Katana as that is a much more useful blade...

Re: ...

Date: 2004-02-03 11:01 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] x-blink.livejournal.com
I was told I needed permission from Alison...unless I misunderstood and no one has bothered to correct this in a MONTH.

also...do any other students besides Miles have one?

Image whatsits

Date: 2004-02-04 12:47 am (UTC)From: [personal profile] xp_daytripper
xp_daytripper: (Default)
You need sum thing, come to me. Glamours ain't that hard.

Re: Hate to break it to you..

Date: 2004-02-04 08:00 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] x-empath.livejournal.com
I will be expecting you.

MdlR

You fence, do you not?

Date: 2004-02-04 08:01 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] x-empath.livejournal.com
Well, as much as any American can truly fence.

As soon as my rebellious body decides to accomplish my will, then I will cross a blade with you.

Perhaps we'll even wager on the outcomes, to keep things ... sporting?

MdlR

Date: 2004-02-04 08:21 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] x-colossus.livejournal.com
3 words. DAVID. BOWIE. CONCERT! Cheer up Clarice :)

Re:

Date: 2004-02-04 10:34 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] x-crowdofone.livejournal.com
It's not my fault, you distracted me first by walking in the room looking like you. :)

But woohoo. Lunch? You, me, turkey sandwiches, chocolate milk, and dastardly plotting? And my best college try at not getting sidetracked?

Date: 2004-02-04 10:35 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] x-blink.livejournal.com
yes! Bowie!!

Re: Image thingamies

Date: 2004-02-04 10:52 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] x-blink.livejournal.com
yay! thanks! see you soon!

Re:

Date: 2004-02-04 11:28 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] x-kitten.livejournal.com
*grin*

Sounds like a plan. :)

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xp_blink: (Default)
Clarice Ferguson

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